(no subject)

[thedeltaquadrant]

"it's not bigoted comments that are bad, it's when people don't reflect that's bad."

yes, bigoted comments are bad. they are always bad. they always do harm. it doesn't matter if it was accidental or intentional. it doesn't matter if this was someone's first bigoted comment or if they regularly make them. bigoted comments are always harmful.

to be completely honest, i don't really care if my classmates who bullied me have since reflected on their actions. sure, i'm glad they hopefully don't say these things to other people, but that doesn't make my trauma go away.

it doesn't matter to me whether the first trans group i ever interacted with kept making exorsexist comments has since unlearned their exorsexism. the fact that this was my first interaction with trans community stays with me to this day.

i don't really care if random people commenting on my appearance in public learn the errors of their ways. it doesn't change fuck all for me and i feel less comfortable existing in public.

the harm is done. i'm glad that if they reflect on their biases, no one else will be subjected to bigotry from them, but it doesn't mean that their bigoted comments aren't bad. they still live within the people who had to endure them. the harm is done.

you cannot reflect your way out of accountability. you can now be the most reflected person and fierce ally to marginalised people and there will still be people who are harmed or even traumatised by your comments to this day. this is something we all have to accept. changing your ways won't undo the harm that is already done, which is why bigoted comments are always, always bad.

discord: the.delta.quadrant